This week my niece experienced her first taste of death. It came as a shock and sent her into hysterics. Literally. I thought it was an interesting experience to watch from the sidelines. Boy was she upset! Actually, when she called to tell me, she couldn't stop crying. From the sounds of her hysterics, I pictured tears streaming down both cheeks and shoulders that were shaking so intensely it affected her breathing. I thought it was interesting because it was only a fish. To adults, this is funny. To her, it's like a little piece of her died! Her grief softened, a little bit, after the burial ceremony, and I think it helped her grasp a little bit of what was going on. Flushing him down the toilet is no optimal burial for a four year old's fish- she had to have the burial in the garden. And the next morning, she asked to dig him up to see if he really went to heaven. It's a pretty common experience in life, losing a pet, but it really got me thinking about how we teach our kids to grieve and express themselves. Thank goodness my niece had the freedom to show her emotions without negative backlash, laughter, or a "no big deal" attitude. Makes me wonder how we as adults express our own grief- are we hiding it or covering it, and what does this teach those around us? I say be sad over dead fish.
Micah's belt exam was last month. She advanced to the top of three brown belts and her junior black belt exam will be this fall. She asked me not to tell or invite anyone except Auree... and Auree is her karate friend. She said, "only karate people there except you guys." Copper was in NY, so it was just Tim and I and Dakota. Kota's phone died about one hour into the almost four hours we were there, and what a trooper. Haha. Micah is awesome! While waiting they had to do all sorts of "the grind" exercises. Here she had to put her feet on her friend (boy Ronan) legs and then do push ups. It looked really hard. Jujitsu fighting with friend (girl) Ronan... Three hours in and she just sat and took a break. She looked beat. I'm grateful for girl Ronan's friendship with Micah. They're all such great friends with her. Ronan, Kristine, and Micah Ms. Kassie came back to see everyone who was advanced testing! Micah was thrilled; this is her mentor...
After the grieving of two hamsters (one of which caused me to miss a day of grad school and my girls to miss school AND my husband to come home from work) I decided I didn't like grieving that often. No more hamsters here.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother in law passed I realized that we don't grieve very well as Americans. We cut it too short.
I'm glad your niece has the freedom to grieve and parents that will bury a fish, instead of flush it.
Hey Cassie! It is so good to see you have a blogger! Woo hoo! I miss you tons girl. You can check mine out at www.kaileejo.blogspot.com! We need to hang out!
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