Smoky Situation

This is our stove/oven. Last night I almost burned our house down with it. I thought it would be a good idea to bake cookies. My inner self was saying no, but I ignored it because I figured it was a feeling that I'd gain too much weight, as I've enjoyed numerous desserts in the past weeks. So much for listening to my gut. I just listened to it rumble for cookies. Anyway- I made cookie dough and then didn't want to waste my night by baking only a dozen at a time. So I piled the entire mound onto a sheet to bake at once. The mistake came when I pushed it clear to all edges so that it'd all fit. Then I stuck it in the oven. A little bit later Tim looked at it and yelped. It was oozing off all the edges onto the bottom of the oven. Not a few drops, but mounds. So we took out the pan and ate the remainder semi-cooked. Still very yummy. However, my oven was a messy, gooey disaster. Now- I am no real kitchen dummy; nor am I lazy. Well, sometimes I am. But in this case, I was tricked into believing in the convenience of modern-day appliances. I simply closed the door and hit "self-clean," believing this would fix it no problem. Fifteen minutes later Tim calmly said, "I don't think it's working." I turned toward him in the kitchen to see smoke billowing out of all oven/stove crevices. It was filling up the kitchen fast. He took Copper to a smoke free part of the house and I stood there. That's what I do when I don't know what else to do. Even after all doors and windows were opened, there was so much smoke we really couldn't breathe without coughing and wanting to pass out and die. Yes- Copper was still okay, for those of you who want to call my work on me for endangering my child. Hours later we went to bed, still with the windows open, even though I was afraid of wild animals breaking in while we slept. I think when we move to a new house we will leave the oven. I'd rather buy a new one than clean it. Despite the long evening, I am still craving warm, chocolate chip cookies!